*~*~*~*~*

Buffy closed her eyes tightly and tried to shut out the images flooding her mind. Those eyes were so haunting. She kept hearing those two words ring through her ears. "The Body."

She was no stranger to death. On countless occasions she had dealt with other "bodies" and had become quite skilled in being able to obtain clues from them. In all those instances, she never imaged what it would be like to be on a different end of all this.

It didn't really hit her at first. But when Giles arrived, she fell apart. She didn't want to say those words. "The Body."

"Buffy?" Dawn asked from her resting place in her sister's lap. "What's going to happen next?" She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I mean, I don't have to go to a foster home or anything, right?"

Buffy opened her eyes and looked down at her. "Giles is taking care of that right now," she assured her.

"Well, wh- what's he going to do?"

"He's filing papers to become your legal guardian."

Dawn sat up. "You mean I'm going to have to go live with him?"

Buffy shook her head. "I asked if he would move into the house."

Dawn nodded. "Okay."

Xander walked over and sat beside them. "That was a nice service." He paused. "Is there anything I can do?"

Buffy gave him a weak smile. "You've been great, Xan."

He smiled back and gave her a hug. "If there's anything you need, you just tell me."

She hugged him back. "I will."

*~*~*

The English language can be so blunt at times. "The Body." Even though Buffy had used that term several times, it hadn't meant anything. Until now.

She wrapped a small figurine in some bubble-wrap and set it in the box. Her mother's entire room was almost packed away in those boxes now.

Giles taped a large box closed. "Is this one going as well?"

She nodded. "There's some clothes and bedding in that one." She sighed heavily and sat on the bed. "Is this really happening?"

He sat next to her. "I'm afraid so."

She looked at all the boxes. "All those vampires, all their victims... Is this what their families go through?"

He followed her gaze to the boxes. "Yes. Not exactly the same. But yes."

She swallowed back her tears. "I know that I've helped save a lot of lives, but now I have to ask myself, what about those that I couldn't get to in time?"

He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "You can't judge yourself like that, Buffy. Death is a part of life."

"Yeah. It is. People have heart attacks and aneurysms and strokes. But they don't all get murdered by vampires!" She stood and started pacing.

He replaced his glasses and watched her. "They've been around for ages. It's just the way that some things are. I can't begin to explain why, but they are."

She stopped pacing. "I have to do more. It's not enough. I have to do more."

He stood and hugged her. "You're only one girl. You can't rid the entire world of vampires. You cannot beat yourself up over this."

*~*~*

The cemetery. Buffy had patrolled this a million times in her life. It was a routine. But tonight was different. She read some of the gravestones as she walked past them, asking herself what the families of these people had felt. Or if they even had any family. She kneeled in front of one of them and ran her hand over the carvings. It read: "Abigail Forester: April 13th, 1981 to December 25th, 2000." This girl was Buffy's age and had died on Christmas.

"Hey. What the bloody hell are you doing?"

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Not now, Spike."

He read the stone in front of her. "Was that some chit you knew?"

She looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. "Just leave me alone."

His look softened. "What's happened?

She pressed her lips together. "M-m-mom's... gone..."

Spike took a moment to try and figure out if he heard her right. "Joyce?"

She nodded as some tears fell.

He sat next to her. "But... how? When?"

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "She had an aneurysm as a result of her brain surgery. They say she went in minutes."

He let that seep in. "How are you?"

She nodded. "I'm fine." She stood from the grave and dusted herself off. "So now you know. If you'll excuse me." She turned to go.

He grabbed her arm. "Just know that I'm sorry. I really did like Joyce." He let go of her arm and went on his way

*~*~*

Death to a teenager is anger.

Buffy knew this was especially hard on Dawn. On top of the trauma of finding out her entire life was a lie, now to have that world shattered with a death like this? Give it a cherry with her being a high school freshman.

The denial came first in the hallway. Dawn cried and begged Buffy to tell her it wasn't true. Then came the insane belief that it actually wasn't a complication, that it wasn't some natural cause.

But then Buffy had seen the reality set in when they were in the morgue. Dawn stood from the ground and looked at her mother's corpse. The eyes were staring blankly at the cold ceiling, her skin was a ghostly blue/white color. But other than that she looked in peace. Like she was resting.

Dawn reached out her hand and touched her mother's hair. "You're really gone," she had said. "You really are." She sobbed for a few moments then sucked in some air. "Good-bye mom."

Death to a teenager is anger.

The couple of days later, after the service while Buffy and Giles were boxing things, Dawn began to vent. She blared her music loud and began to scream out the lyrics as she tore down everything from her walls.

*~*~*

Final good-byes are never easy. But once they're said, it's a weight that's lifted and it sets you free.

Death to a young adult is acceptance.

Buffy stood at her mothers grave three weeks later and set a white rose on the headstone. "I know you're still watching over me and Dawn. And I know that now you won't be feeling anymore headaches or have to worry about anymore surgeries... And I also know now that you had a full and wonderful life. You were a great mother and more understanding than anyone I've ever known. I know it wasn't easy to know that your daughter was fighting evil all those nights. You must have spent so much time worrying." She sighed. "Well now you're always able to watch me, Mom. And I know you're not going to let anything happen to me. I love you." With that she turned and walked away.

Death to a young adult is acceptance.

And as Buffy finally said her good-byes, she realized how the world could go on. It wasn't that her mother was gone. It was that her mother just decided to watch over her in a different way.

Death is not the end. Death is the beginning of heaven's angels.