*~*~*

Buffy hung another bulb on a branch and smiled to Angel. "I really like the blue. It's all cool, like ice." She reached out her hand and he gave her another bulb. Against the white of the flocked tree, the bulbs seemed to be gaps in clouds, showing a blue twilight. She loved the feeling this season gave to her. Here she was, spending the holidays with her family and with Angel, the man she loved. The entire house was almost done. All that was left was the tree. And that was also close to completion.

Angel looked at the box in his hands. "That's it then. No more bulbs. No more ornaments. I think you're done." He sat the box aside and stood, brushing his hands together. "Now you just need to decide what goes on top of the tree."

"We used to put an angel up. There's also a star here and a dove though. What do you think?" She held up the latter of the three items.

"Both are really appropriate."

"What do you mean?"

"A star is a glimmer of hope, something to wish on. And we all know you need that glimmer of hope."

She didn't understand but somehow it made something click in her brain. I know what we're dealing with. She took a deep breath and looked at the snow falling in front of the window. A white Christmas? This hadn't happened since...

"And the dove," he continued, "is a symbol of peace and love. And that's something everyone truly wants in the end." He grinned. "What happens is up to you, Buffy."

"Hot chocolate!" Dawn beamed as she brought out a tray with four mugs on it. "Perfectly warm, no marshmallows."

Joyce came in behind her with a tray of cookies, shaped into gingerbread men and wreaths. "Almost done with the tree, honey?"

Angel smiled and sipped a mug of hot chocolate. "She's picking the topper right now."

She looked down from the star to the dove and back again. "I don't want to be reminded of wishes. I'd just like to move on to the peace and love." She held the dove in her hand and climbed up onto her stepstool, reaching high to the very top and setting the dove in its place. "How's that?"

"Try moving it a little to the left," Dawn suggested.

She did and gasped as a piece of the dove's wing broke and pierced her finger. She watched as a tiny bead of blood began to form. It's Summers' blood. It's just like mine. Something wasn't right.

"Oh, Buffy! You hurt yourself." Angel came and took her hand in his. He was warm and gentle as he brought the tiny wound to his lips and kissed it better. "Come sit by the fire." He led her to the couch and sat next to her, wrapping her in his warm embrace.

Joyce smiled to them. "It's nice to have these peaceful holiday times."

Buffy looked around at the decorations and swallowed. "It's all blue and white."

Dawn shrugged and bit into a cookie. "Makes sense and all. I mean, everything is pretty blue right now."

Joyce nodded. "But the white reminds me of how everything will be okay in the end."

Buffy shuddered and curled up in Angel's arms. "I don't want to leave this."

"But you have to," he whispered. "You know what's happening."

Joyce dropped her mug and fell to the floor, eyes open and blank, dead. Dawn picked up the mug and went to get a towel. Angel sighed. "You're remembering. I can't stay long." He kissed her forehead. "It was nice to have some time though."

Buffy shook her head. "I don't understand."

"Your finger. You've spread blood all over." He motioned.

She gasped as she looked around at all the blood dripped decorations that were once beautiful and pure were now horrid pictures of pain. "But this is Christmas time."

"That may be, but you have a duty."

"I'm the Slayer."

"That's right."

The entire house seemed to fade. The fire in the fireplace died and vanished, the tree seemed to melt then fade and everything turned back to its ransacked appearance. Dawn and her mother were gone but Angel was still standing there.

She looked down. "This is all a dream."

"A wish maybe. A thought of a time when things like a white Christmas with all of us could happen. But you have to realize, Buffy, that those times are gone. You have to fight. And you have to win. The world is counting on you."

"What about you?"

"Evil has many forms and it's taken another one out where I am. But you know that. You've seen it."

"The Beast. I know." She sighed heavily. "I'm going to fight the First Evil. How can I?"

"With the first good. Love. You are love, Buffy." His image changed and soon she was faced with the First Slayer again. She stood perfectly still in front of her. "You are full of love."

"Love brought me to my gift. Death is my gift. I remember. But does this mean I'm dying again?" She really didn't want to.

"You think you have only one gift? Love brings many gifts. Find your gift through love to defeat the pain of evil."

*~*~*

Buffy opened her eyes. She had laid her head down on the counter and drifted off. Spike was still taken. The First Evil was still out there. She had to save him. She loved him. Love brings many gifts. She didn't know what gift was going to be brought, but she was willing to give it another shot.

She paused once out in the living room and thought about the white Christmas she had pictured. She would never have that. Only the blue of her Christmas would remain for now. She was the Slayer. Her duty awaited her.

The End