*~*~*

"Damn!" Cordelia cursed as she threw down the empty bottle of headache medicine. She sat in her chair and held her head in her hands, the tears coming quickly, falling onto the desk. It hurt so much. And now it wasn't only when she had visions. But she couldn't tell the guys. They would just worry. And she didn't want them too. This was something that she had decided to do. Groo had given her the chance to get rid of them, but it wouldn't have been right. This was her penance. This was her making up for all the selfish acts in her life.

Taking a deep breath, she slowly stood and ignored the room spinning and she made her way over to her coat. She was pretty sure that she had more pills in there. But she wouldn't be able to find out. She passed out about half way there.

*~*~*

Angel hung up his coat and smiled to Gunn. "I'm sure it'll wash."

Gunn glared, covered in hot pink sludge. "Yeah, thanks."

"Dangers of being cool like me." Angel smiled and strutted away from the coat rack.

"Oh yeah, you're so cool your hair sticks straight up to be as far from you as possible." Gunn chuckled.

"You're left altogether, baldy."

Angel and Gunn laughed at each other until Angel froze and his smile disappeared. Gunn looked to where he was looking. He saw Cordelia, passed out.

Angel and Gunn sprung into action quickly, kneeling down by her.

"Delia!" Gunn shook her a little and Cordelia's eyes fluttered open and she grabbed her head.

"Augh..."

Angel started to feel her head for lumps.

"What are you doing, Angel?"

"Feeling you for lumps."

"Get you hands off my head before I give you a couple lumps."

Angel let go, holding up his hands as if to surrender. "Sorry."

Cordelia grimaced as Gunn helped her stand up.

"What happened?" Gunn demanded.

"I tripped and hit my head. No big."

"Maybe you should sit down."

Both guys fussed around her trying to get her sat down and comfortable. Finally Cordelia shoved herself away from them both. She took a moment to get her bearings and then looked at the two stunned men.

"Alright you guys! Way to be Mr. Smother. And Gunn, we'll tack Mr. Slime on top of that for you. Where were you guys, anyway?"

"Fighting. Cordy, don't you think you should sit down?" Angel looked worried.

"No, I think you guys should chill out though."

Gunn gave her one of his classic looks. The one that said "You're gonna be that way, huh?"

"Chill out, huh? Alright homegirl." Gunn smiled.

Angel and Cordelia grinned.

*~*~*

Dusting would be a nice calm activity. Dusting could get her mind off of it. She'd found more pain pills and they'd helped a little. It had taken almost all her strength just to get the guys to lay off of her. Angel was still watching her after Gunn left. She sighed, annoyed and turned to him. "Don't you have something better to do?"

Angel frowned. "Than look after a friend? Nope."

She slammed the feather duster on a table and winced as her head told her that noise wasn't welcome. "I'm fine." She whispered.

"You've said that a lot lately. I'm just wondering what 'fine' means in your vocabulary."

She swallowed and turned from him. "It means I'm fine." She could hear him move and soon felt a pair of cool hands on her shoulders, rubbing gently. She sighed. "I don't know."

He kept his voice quiet. "You need to rest."

"But I can't!" She moved from his hands and turned to face him. "It hurts. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? It hurts. And the visions are getting stronger. I... I don't know how much more my head can take." She closed her eyes.

He wrapped her in a hug for a moment before lifting her into his arms. "Rest here for the night. I'll see what I can find out."

She didn't argue.

*~*~*

"Oh now I! I will survive!" Lorne belted out the lyrics as he serenaded his newly remodeled bar.

Angel took a last drink of his scotch. He should be getting back to Cordelia. When she fell asleep in his bed he was glad. Then his mind started flashing all sorts of scenarios about a gorgeous girl in his bed and he had to get out of there. Since when did Cordelia become so gorgeous? He couldn't be THAT out of touch, could he?

Angel stood up and put some money on the table. He turned and nearly smacked into Lorne. He jumped.

"Ah! Don't DO that, you ass!"

"Whoa, babycakes, where's the fire? You didn't come all the way down here to watch little ole me sing. Don't you want to warm up the cords a little?" Lorne squinted his eyes, watching him.

"No. I think I need to go home. I'm kind of caring for a sick friend."

"Gunn?"

"No."

"Wesley?"

"No."

"Corde-"

"Lorne." Angel warned.

"You have a friend named Lorne? What a coinki-dink! Bet he's not as debonair and gorgeous as I am." Lorne smiled.

Angel rolled his eyes. "If I sing will you shut up?"

"It might help." He motioned to the empty waiting stage.

Grumbling, Angel grabbed the songbook and flipped through. Choosing a selection that he had recalled from a CD Cordelia was playing earlier, he hopped up on stage and grabbed the microphone.

Half the room winced in anticipation.

"I am colorblind," the slower song seemed to fit his voice better. The room relaxed. "Coffee black and egg white."

Lorne sat down and watched intently.

"Pull me out from inside. I am ready. I am taffy stuck and tongue tied." Angel closed his eyes and pictured her in his mind. "Stutter shook and uptight. Pull me out from inside. I am ready. I am fine."

*~*~*

Wesley stood in the doorway of Angel's bedroom and watched Cordelia as she slept. Angel had told him about what was happening. And there was even more evidence in her sleep. She tossed and turned and even whimpered a few cries of pain now and then.

Wesley retrieved a cool rag from the bathroom and sat on the bed next to her, slowly running the cloth over her forehead. She calmed slightly but still looked in pain. He wondered what she was dreaming of.

*~*~*

She vaguely knew that she was dreaming. But it didn't seem to matter. She was sitting in the new Caritas looking up at the stage with a smile. Angel was singing to her. She never thought he would remember the song let alone the words. But he sang it like a pro. She clapped her hands as the song ended and stood to great him off the stage. But he didn't go to her. He went to Lorne. He didn't even look at her. Frowning, she walked over to the two only to find that she couldn't hear what they were saying. Their mouths moved in words but it was as if their silent language was something that she couldn't learn.

*~*~*

Angel walked off the stage and over to Lorne. Lorne silently watched him make his way, a small smile playing across his lips. Angel sat down and waited. Lorne took a drink of his seabreeze and then looked at Angel.

"Well?"

"Keep your pants on, Angelface. I'm setting a tone."

Angel glared. "I don't want a tone. I want what you saw."

"Testy, testy." Lorne clicked. "I'd be nicer if I were talking to someone who held vital information to my future."

"Lorne..."

"Alright, alright." He leaned over conspiratorially. "The suspense is killing me anyway. You, my friend, are in love." Lorne smiled.

"Wha...? Lorne I'm being serious here. I need a solution for Cordelia. Those visions are getting to be too much for her."

"You have the solution."

"I do?"

Lorne nodded and stood up. "Just follow your heart, the solution will follow. But be careful. I don't exactly see this being a stroll in the park. Remember if you believe there is an easy solution to a complicated problem chances are you aren't looking hard enough."

**~**

Angel walked into the bedroom and tossed his coat in a chair.

"Hey!" came the muffled voice from under his coat. Angel picked up his coat and smiled.

"Wes."

"Angel, what are you doing?"

"I was about to go to bed. You?"

Wesley stood up. "I was keeping an eye on her. She seems very restless."

Angel nodded. "I'll take care of her."

"See that you do. Goodnight, Angel."

Angel closed the door behind Wesley and looked at the sleeping beauty in his bed. Falling in love. Could he really be falling in love again? Angel stripped off his shirt. His hands paused at his belt. After a moments hesitation he slipped the belt open and let his pants fall to the floor. His boxers should be enough.

**~**

Cordelia's eyes opened. That was the weirdest dream she'd ever had. After Angel and Lorne chatted Angel came home and crawled into bed with her. Cordelia smiled. That would have been nice. It would have been nice to snuggle next to someone and to be held by someone.

Cordelia sighed wistfully and turned around to snuggle into the blankets and rolled right into Angel. She gasped and put her hand over her mouth to mask it. Angel was sleeping beside her. Her wide eyes blinked a few times in surprise and she slowly moved her hand from her mouth and waved it in front of his face. Here he was in all his gorgeousness, and in bed with her.

And fast asleep.

She smiled and let her curiosity take over as she lifted the blankets a little and peeped below. Her breathing got faster. He was only in his boxers. And she was in an oversized t-shirt and her panties. She swallowed and lowered the blanket. What was she thinking? This was Angel here. Her friend. Helping her, protecting her with his naked manly boob muscles and soft cool skin and such a childlike expression as he slept that was so cute she could just...

Angel opened his eyes and grinned. "Did I wake you?" he asked softly.

She smiled. "No." She was surprised at how quiet her voice came out.

He hesitated. "If you want, I could... hold you?" He looked to her questioningly, not wanting to invade where he wasn't wanted.

Her heart skipped a beat. "S-sure." She scooted closer to his cool body as one arm snaked around her waist and held her close.

"Just rest. I'll take care of you."

She closed her eyes. "I know. I love you."

He smiled and wondered if she knew the hidden meaning behind his next sentence. "I love you too."

*~*~*

The next morning, Cordelia took a deep breath as she woke up, taking in the scent of the man who was cradling her in his arms. Angel smiled to her. "Good morning."

She smiled back. "How long have you been awake?"

"About an hour. But it's okay. It's not like I could lose my circulation."

She smiled and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Still tired?"

"No."

He leaned his head over and took in the scent of her slightly mussed hair. She looked so delectable in the morning. He kissed the top of her head and smiled when he felt her heartbeat quicken and heard her breathing become shallower. Hesitantly she looked up at him and he was lost in her. His lips came forward to kiss her while her eyes started to close and her mouth already begin to part for the kiss.

"Cordelia! Angel!" they heard from down the hall.

The two jumped apart making Angel jump clear off the bed and land on his ass on the floor with a thud.

Wesley smiled as he entered the room and then his smile faltered. Cordelia was on the bed, covers clutched to her looking like she'd just been caught in mischief and Angel was on the ground with a surprised look on his face.

"Am I interrupting?"

"No!" Cordelia said, smiling brightly. We were just...pillow fighting. And I won." She smiled and looked at Angel, daring him to argue. "See?" She picked up a pillow and tossed it at Angel, who didn't duck in time and got a face full of pillow. Cordelia just smiled at Wesley who was looking at them like they had lost their mind.

Angel smiled and tossed the pillow back, trying to give off the impression that they had been playing. The pillow sailed to Cordelia and hit her in the head. She grabbed her head instantly and groaned in pain, doubling over to lay on the bed in a fetal position. Both men ignored that she was only in panties and a tee shirt and rushed to her.

"Oh Cordelia, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Cordelia only barely nodded.

"What can we do, Cordelia?" Wesley looked worried.

"Aspirin."

"Right!" Wesley jumped up and went off in search of her pills, glad to be able to do something to help.

Angel watched, pensive.

**~**

"Ha! I win again!" Cordelia smiled as she pointed to the board game.

"Girl, I swear you cheat." Gunn scratched his head and looked at the board.

She crossed her arms. "That's ten bucks, mister!"

He forked over the money. "Hey, where's Angel? I haven't seen him around much today."

She took the money and flinched. "Uh, Angel? Hmm. I don't know. He's a vampire. And you never can tell about those vampire types." She stood and stuffed the money into the pocket of her pants. "Gee, look at the time." She immediately grabbed her bag and headed out the door.

*~*~*

Wesley blinked and double checked what he had read. "I think I may have an answer."

Angel was by his side in a moment. "What is it?"

"Well, when Cordelia was to mate with the Groosalug, that was supposed to relieve her of her visions."

"This isn't sounding like a great answer."

"Well, the demon blood was to absorb them."

"I still don't get it."

"What if we find her a demon to mate with?"

"What?" Angel realized that half his response was jealousy. "You know she's not going to do that. She wants to keep the visions. To help people."

"Angel, if she keeps them she will die. Her body was not meant for demon visions. Now, as much as she may not want to do this, it isn't as if we don't have time. We can find her and acceptable mate. Something humanoid that won't slime her and things like that." He looked down. "Angel I don't like this either, but we have to help her. Or she could die."

Angel paced the floor.

"True, she'll be...hesitant to do this. But with the right amount of coaxing..."

"No."

"Angel, she'll need just a small push in the right direction and I think..."

"No!" Angel looked at him. "She isn't going to listen to me."

"Angel, you're the only one she may listen too."

Angel opened his mouth to protest when they both heard Cordelia's familiar scream. Angel ran toward the front door, Wesley close behind him.

Angel threw open the door and stepped back from the fading sunlight. Night was almost here, but not quite. Cordelia was lying just a foot away from the door, holding her head in pain. Before he even thought about how Wesley could get her, he dashed out there, smoldering the whole way. He gritted his teeth and picked her up, bringing her inside. He staggered to a couch and laid her down before he dropped to his knees, panting.

"Angel!" Wesley was shocked. "You imbecile, I could have retrieved her!" He looked at Cordelia who was holding her head with a pained look. "Angel. Look at her."

Angel lifted his head up, slowly, his whole body burning. He saw so plainly the pain on her face and then he looked back at Wesley as best he could before he nodded. "Ok. I'll talk to her."

"Thank you."

**~**

It was decided that she was not to be left alone at all. But she wanted to go home. So Angel took her there at nightfall, his burns a fading memory but her pain all to vivid in his mind. As soon as she was in the door, she tossed her bag to the side and stretched. "Feels good to be home." She turned to him and smiled.

He leaned back against the door and stuck his hands in his pockets. "I think we need to talk."

She lost her smile. "This is about this morning isn't it?" Before he could reply: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that I know. There's the whole 'grr' thing and then the fact that you're one of my best friends and I shouldn't have taken advantage of your help like that. I'm sorry."

He waited. "Done?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

He grinned. "It wasn't about this morning. You did nothing wrong. If Wesley hadn't..." He looked away. "But anyway, the thing I wanted to talk to you about was that we might have found a way to help you with the visions."

She was all ears. "Yeah?"

He mumbled.

"What?"

"Wesley read in the Pylean books that you need to mate with a demon."

She scowled. "No."

"Cordy listen-"

"No! You listen! I didn't do it with Groo because it would take the visions. It's what I am now! It's how I help! And if they kill me..." She looked down. "Then at least I'll die nobly or something like Buffy."

Angel felt like he had been punched in the stomach. He couldn't help the desolate look or the hint of moisture collecting at his eyes.

"Please. For me. Don't do this." His voice was so quiet, so pained. She winced, knowing she shouldn't have brought up Buffy. She looked up at him slowly and her heart nearly broke at his pained expression.

"Angel...don't do that."

Angel went toward her and wrapped his arms around her, looking down at her with a very serious look.

"Don't leave me. Don't let them kill you. You can help in other ways. Like Gunn does. He doesn't have visions and he's not an ex-watcher but he still helps. You have abilities that have nothing to do with the visions."

His voice cracked although there was no evidence of tears. The sadness on his face was worse than tears. It went beyond tears.

Cordelia looked down at his chest and then back up to his face. She lifted herself up on her tiptoes and gently pressed her lips against his.

Electricity shot through them making Angel tighten his hold on her. Her arms went up to around his neck and she tilted her head and parted her lips a breath. Angel groaned as his tongue sough entrance and was granted it. The coolness of his tongue made her shiver with pleasure and she let her own tongue meet his. One of Angel's hands went up behind her head and held her head as his lips and tongue started to ravish her willing mouth.

After a moment Angel looked down at her. Cordelia's lips were swollen from the kiss and she looked like she wanted more.

"I'm demon. Let it be me. Please."

She had to take a few deep breaths as she watched his face, her hands resting on his shoulders. "I think... I think it's always been you." She curled her fists in his coat. "You've always helped me. You've always cared." Slowly, she pushed his coat from his shoulders and he released his hold only for a moment to let it fall to the floor. "The bedroom," she whispered.

He inhaled deeply and nodded before picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom. She moaned slightly and kissed his neck, unbuttoning his shirt as he walked. Once there, he laid her down gently and loomed over her, kissing down her chest as he untied the back of the halter top and delicately removed it from her. The touch of her bare skin made him stop and pull back. He stared at her in awe.

She panted. "Wh-what's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. You're just... amazing." He descended on her again, this time with no hesitation in his lovemaking.

*~*~*

Angel and Cordelia awoke and sat up straight at the same time and cried out. He rolled out of the bed as she grabbed her head. "NO!" she screamed.

He inhaled a few more times then started chuckling slowly.

She reached for the phone but he had sprung to his feet and grabbed her wrist. "Now, Cordy... What are you doing?"

She looked at him, tears on her face. "I... I had a vision... A-a-a...." She looked into his eyes.

He smiled. "Angelus?"

To Be Continued...